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Change and Wishful Thinking

7th February 2005 • Dave

Got instant messaging with one of my x-girlfriends on Messenger earlier:

XGF: hey do you remember when you got them kids suspended from school for sending you nasty emails?

DW: hahaha, jasus I’d almost forgotten about that rofl

XGF: god i can’t believe how much i’ve changed since then

DW: well it’s important to change a little bit everyday

XGF: that sounds like some self help mumbo jumbo

DW: yeh it probably is. But if nothing changes then everything stays exactly the same, how interesting is that?

XGF: it’s weird tho…i mean i’ve been getting quite introverted in my old age, i think that goes with not having much of a social life, and it made me get very nostalgic about the time before i went away to uni….not a pleasant nostalgia either just weird….but now it’s just all shot back into perspective and i can see how different i am,

XGF: all the hopes i had at the time that were subsequently ignored…i can see how much i’ve changed in that respect and it’s weird

DW: I’m different from 3 months ago. going to South Africa was pretty mind bending. I guess we’re meant to change and grow and all that crap.

DW: I’d say if you hadn’t changed in the last 5 years then it would be stranger no?

XGF: yeah i guess i’ve not had any one major life changing experience in such a short space of time….i mean uni changes you but it’s spread over several years so it’s more like lots of small things so you don’t notice it all at once

DW: yeh and I notice that working changes people too. All the people I know in their late 20s and who are in work have really changed a lot in the last couple of years.

XGF: yeah work certainly regulates your life

XGF: you wind up having to get sensible

DW: I think when you’ve only got a very small proportion of the day to spend on yourself, it can make one focus on what is important

XGF: ideally yes, but it doesn’t always work out like that

XGF: altho it does make you appreciate your free time more

DW: well it usually doesn’t always work out like that, but the very fact that it makes some folks reevaluate what’s important to them is significant

XGF: before i got my first full time job i’d spent three months on the dole, just out of uni, totally broke and in a new town where i couldn’t afford to get to know it properly…the most depressing three months of my life….so when i started my job i was too excited about actually having money in my account every month to worry about the important things

DW: yeh, but then the novelty wore off?

XGF: it was a shit job more to the point

XGF: i always appreciated the financial security of a monthly wage

DW: what and you don’t have one now?

XGF: i still appreciate it

DW: good

XGF: i think if i didn’t have to spend so much of my free time commuting, my life would be pretty pleasant all in all

DW: but there’s a difference between appreciating it and getting excited “every month”?

XGF: oh, and if i had more friends in the area

XGF: oh god i do get excited

DW: If I had a hammer…

XGF: what would u do if u had a hammer

DW: I’d hammer in the morning.

DW: obviously

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